


An A-Z of Scorbus

by Sophangelo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Scorbus, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8322457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophangelo/pseuds/Sophangelo
Summary: Scorbus headcanons in alphabetical order.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Found this sitting in my documents, collecting technological dust. Enjoy!

Apples

Albus loved apples. Anything with apple in it made him fall in love with it. One day, Scorpius concocted an apple perfume with not Rose Weasley, but Hugo Weasley, which was a big mistake. When the couple cuddled in the Slytherin dorm room after a long and exhausting day, Albus had fainted from the smell of rotten fruit and was in the hospital wing for three days.

Broomstick

During their seventh year, Albus decided to take Scorpius on a romantic broom ride over Hogwarts to relieve the stress from their upcoming N.E.W.Ts. Unfortunately, Albus isn't much of a broom rider like his dad, and they both fell into the Great Lake.

Cat

Albus bought Scorpius a cat. Though Scorpius loved the cat, he had allergies. They gave the animal to Rose, who was delighted and named it "Malfoy".

Death

Albus thought a lot about death. He would think about the inevitability of it, and how horrible and uneasy it must be to not breathe, to not think, to have your body rot and become a giant feast for worms. One night, Scorpius woke up to the sound of Albus crying. Albus had been thinking too much, and only fell asleep when Scorpius was cuddled up next to him, whispering comforts in his ear.

Eggs

Scorpius's favorite breakfast food was eggs. When the couple moved in together, Albus was the chef, inheriting his cooking skills from Harry. Almost every morning, Scorpius would wake up to the smell of eggs and pancakes and bacon, and see his loving boyfriend in the kitchen cooking food for the both of them.

Flamingo

James, whilst drunk, had bought the couple a flamingo. They weren't mad until they realized the flamingo was wild and destroyed almost everything in their house. They never forgave James.

Gnome

There was a gnome at Molly and Arthur's house that was wiser than the other gnomes, and he favored Albus. The gnome was one of the people Albus would go to when he didn't know what to do. This gnome is part of the reason Albus didn't destroy his relationship with Scorpius. The gnome was also invited to Albus and Scorpius's wedding.

Heartbeat

Albus's heartbeat was always weird. It went thump, thump-thump, thump-thump-thump-thump, thump, and thump. Scorpius teased him mercilessly for it. Years after his mother's death, Scorpius got his heart checked at a muggle hospital with Draco. The doctors were surprised by Scorpius's heartbeat. He asked how it went. The doctors' answer?  _Thump, thump-thump, thump-thump-thump-thump, thump, thump._

Indoors

Albus always preferred staying outside. Scorpius thought otherwise. Scorpius decided to bring Albus out for a day. In the end, Albus got a sunburn and wasn't allowed to go out for a week. 

James Potter

James was always trying to get his brother and friend to date. After two years of trying, he succeeded in using Molly Weasley, Avril Lavigne, a closet, and a few Viagra pills. Albus and Scorpius hate and love him for getting them together like that.

Kissing

Scorpius and Albus had _very_ different kissing styles. Scorpius kissed innocently, smiling in between each soft smooch to show how happy he was and to catch breath, his gentle hands embracing Albus lovingly. Meanwhile, Albus was rough and passionate, his grip in Scorpius’s blond curls, biting and licking and being overall _spanking good_ at snogging. In this case, opposites did not attract. It took them a literal year to get used to their kissing styles and meet in the middle, a middle of daintiness and deviance, a middle so unique that it was part of the many reasons they loved each other so much.

Lateness

Scorpius Malfoy, like Rose Weasley, was never late to a class. Except once, in sixth year. Hermione had sent Albus a new cologne that made him smell like new parchment. Scorpius, the geek who never failed to be geeky, loved this cologne and made him even more attracted to his brunet boyfriend. Because of this, Slytherin lost fifteen points that day when the couple arrived late to Transfiguration, faces flushed, hair tousled, robes rumpled and trying their best to hide what they did in the trophy room when _everyone literally knew exactly what they did_.

Milk

Late into his thirties, Albus was diagnosed as lactose-intolerant. As a wonderful husband, Scorpius banned himself and their two adopted twins from eating dairy. This arose many complaints from their kids. The problem was, Scorpius loved dairy too. He lasted two months until Albus found him snacking on pizza and milkshakes at two in the morning. Albus jokingly called him an idiot and snacked with him. Albus was the sickest he ever felt for a day, but it was worth it when Scorpius took a day off from work to cuddle (and maybe some other stuff too) with him in bed the entire twenty-four hours of his illness.

Names

Discussing names for their children had been a handful. They never agreed on anything. Scorpius wanted names like ‘Raine’ or ‘Castor’, while Albus wanted to name their children after loved ones, two popular examples being ‘Ginevra Rose’ or ‘James Lily’ (“’James Lily’ is not a boy name, Albus!” “I don’t know why you hate awesome unisex names, Scorpius!”). The day their surrogate, Fiona Wells, gave birth, was the day the Malfoy-Potter couple met two wonderfully sad people in the St. Mungo’s waiting room. A couple with the names of Carter and Marie. Carter had terminal illness and was about to die dreadfully soon and Marie was heavily pregnant with twins. They agreed on Elizabeth for the girl twin and Alexander for the boy twin. Two hours later, they heard that during birth, Marie and her twins had died and Carter was put to bed rest, preparing for his own death. When Fiona gave birth, she had twins, unexpectedly, because there was a misunderstanding in the sonograms. In filling out their birth certificates, they, without an unhesitant thought, put in Elizabeth Marie for the girl, and Alexander Carter for the boy.

Ohio

In their early-forties, the naughtiness in their relationship had fizzled out. As a ‘fourth honeymoon’ Scorpius planned a trip to Las Vegas, America. Unfortunately, there was a mistake with the ticket ordering and Scorpius brought them to Ohio. Despite the depressing lack of Vegas excitement and casinos, they revived the spice and it didn’t fizzle out for a long time.

Pie

Albus realized he had a crush on Scorpius during third year. The Malfoy child had been invited to Christmas with the Weasleys. Tension ruled the air between the Slytherin boys and the rest, but everything was better after some eggnog. Scorpius came up to his best friend, a platter of mince pies in his hand. “Would you like to be fed?” Scorpius had giggled drunkenly. Albus, sober, smiled and said “Yeah, why not?” Albus went to bite the little fruit pie in Scorpius’s hand, when the smiling blond smashed the pie onto his friend’s face. Scorpius walked away, laughing uncontrollably. Albus watched him go, piecrust, berry jam, and a wide grin plastered across his face, finally giving a name to those warm feelings he had for his best friend.

Quail

When they were twenty-seven, Scorpius and Albus broke up temporarily. Rose, always ready to comfort her gayest best friend, bought a pet for Scorpius. She intended on a puppy, but could not get one and bought a quail instead. After much persuading from the eldest Granger-Weasley, Scorpius took in the bird and named him ‘Potter’. He grew attached to the bird and she almost replaced Albus for three weeks. When he and Albus got back together, they took care of Potter like she was their child. A funeral had been held when Potter the Quail died after two years. Her death made them realize they wanted a child, and they started their adoption journey.

Rainstorm

Albus and Scorpius loved rainstorms. It was an excuse to stay indoors and get comfortable with onsies and each other. However, Albus almost lost Scorpius to a rainstorm. It was the strongest storm to ever cross London, and Scorpius was driving home from work. The rain distracted him and he got in a car crash. It was so severe Scorpius was in a coma for nearly a month. From then on, even when Scorpius got over it, Albus feared rainstorms, claiming it was the thunder, when in actuality it was his deepest fear of losing Scorpius.

Sea

Scorpius and Albus loved beach trips. They say they love them for the smooth sand, refreshing sea and salty air, but James knows, unbeknownst to them, that it was actually because they had their first time doing the nasty on a secluded beach.

Teatime

Teatime was very important to Scorpius and Albus. They valued a lovely chat with scrumptious teacakes and some relaxing tea. Plenty called them ‘so British they’ll actually start bleeding tea’ but Scorpius had proposed during a beautiful summer day, at a table outside their shared home, over tea cakes and lemon tea, and happy smiles on their delighted faces.

Us

Since the day they met on the Hogwarts express, they were never ‘Scorpius and I’ or ‘Albus and I’, they were ‘we’ or ‘us’. They stuck together, always hand in hand even before they were dating. They were inseparable, because they loved each other and could not live without the other.

Vase

Post-Hogwarts Albus picked up a rather strange hobby of making vases. Scorpius appreciated them a bit, but didn’t really think much of them. On his thirty-first birthday, Scorpius came home from an exhausting business trip, expecting some sort of surprise party. But when he arrived home there was nothing new except a beautiful vase perched atop the coffee table. The vase was white, with realistic, detailed baby things like bottles and pacifiers painted on it. A bouquet of daises and lavenders, Scorpius’s favorite flowers, filled the slender vase. A card had been taped to the tallest daisy. It had said: _Happy Birthday, love. I’m sorry I’m not here with you, work’s piled up. Wonderful news: Fiona Wells has accepted us to be the adoptive parents of her unborn child! We’re adopting!_ Albus came home later that night and found Scorpius, who was riddled with the happiest of tears. _They would finally get a child._

Wedding

When Scorpius and Albus’s wedding planning had commenced, Draco, Harry, and Ginny got right into ‘helping them’. Their parents had gotten so crazy with the wedding they eloped in Bermuda, their only guest Rose. They still went along with the second wedding, and their parents had no idea until it was twenty years later, during an awkward Christmas dinner.

Xylophone

Scorpius had secret musical talent. He was ridiculously amazing at the xylophone. No one knew until their second wedding, where Scorpius sang and played the instrument, serenading to his new husband. Needless to say, Albus loved it and loved it even more when their kids also had musical talent and the three of them created a little band called the ‘Malfoy Musicians’.

Yacht

The Slytherin couple bought a yacht when they were fifty, for their twentieth anniversary. On this yacht they had their vows renewed, inviting no one except their children, who had arranged the whole thing. They passed the night away under the stars, blankets covering them, laughing and talking and being a family.

Zodiac

Scorpius was a Cancer. Albus was a Virgo. Albus never believed in zodiac signs, while Scorpius was the opposite. That is, until Albus found something about zodiac signs in the _Daily Prophet._

_Cancer and Virgo are soulmates. Under the best circumstances, they love each other unconditionally and are basically inseparable. They will stick to each other to the very end, and will live long, happy lives together._

Cheesy as it sounded, Albus then became a firm believer of astrology.

 

 

 


End file.
